MOVIE BOYFRIEND REVIEWS

the beggining of the end lol...

this was the first kyle movie i ever saw and holy SHIT are we going in fast. this movie's super charming i love it probably more than life itself i swear i can turn it on and quote every single line ever it's crazy, and maybe a bit of a problem

it's really charming, i've never had a coming of age movie speak to me so deeply, i know this is a kyle movie review page but holy shit emily skeggs did such a good job playing patty she's so relateable (and i don't just mean cause i'd also send simon pictures of me jacking off lol) i think she's intended to be autistic/neurodivergent but they never come right out and say it and honestly i like that

even if you don't relate to her on a neurodivergent level, she's just really great weird girl representation, i wish her nothing but the best in life.

the scene where her and simon have dinner with his family makes me tear up everytime i love the way he's so gentle and takes the time to explain stuff to her and even snaps at his sister for berating her. my favorite part of their romance (and what makes it so believable in my opinion) is that they always meet one another on each others level.

like yeah simon explains stuff to patty, but patty has a mischevious streak that comes out around simon, it's cute i like it theyre perfect for eachother.

i also like this movies direction, like it just feels so slice of life like, like we're getting peeks into these characters lives. they have lives outside of the movie, it's something you only notice when it'd done incorrectly

holy fuck do not TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS MOVIE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OH MY GOD

i go fucking nuts for this movie you guys don't even KNOW holy fuck okay anyways this is the movie that ACTUALLY jump started my kyle fixation because i love it SO MUCH HOLY FUCK HE DID SUCH A GOOD JOB HERE

i love benson. i LOVE benson. and i don't just mean in the normal movie boyfriend way i mean as a character? conceptually? he's SO fucking interesting. and like randy too he's the main character but this aint bout him we're here to talk about BENSON.

first and foremost, the dining room scene? MWAH chefs kiss, he's just the right ammount of intimidating while also being nonchalant as fuck about it AUDHHFGK im literally going insane thinking about it. i didn't expect to enjoy it so much because i'm not a gore guy yknow? like blood n guts make me queasy but it's just something about watching that little fuck chris get his brains splattered on a wall it's SO vindicating as someone who's had just the SHITTIEST coworkers

also like, you shouldn't have played with that man's boyfriend. keep your mouth shut next time lmao

speaking of... we gotta bring up the elephant in the room...

i did indeed watch this movie because of yaoi... IM SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF OOMF SOLD ME ON IT BEFORE I EVEN STARTED THE MOVIE i am a stockroom syndrome truther and i am NOT ashamed

someone on tumblr once said the reason benson laughed after randy confessed what happened in second grade was because he was relieved that he wasn't also molested and holy FUCK DUDE that's EVIL!!! THAT IS EVIL AND FUCKED UP AND TWISTED AND TRUE

i could do so many character studies on benson alone, like i could sit here and write MULTIPLE essays on why he is the way he is because he's such a deep and rich character and we basically get NOTHING from him, like everything's implied and i LOVE figuring it out on my own like HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A LAST NAME i call him benson passenger though cause it's fun lol

but yeah like nothing about him is set in stone unless you watch really super closely and trust me as many times as i've watched that damn movie since i first saw it I KNOW. okay i KNOW.

okay i have a fucking BONE to pick with this movie. and a backstory.

so after i watched the passenger the brain worms were consuming me? right? so i joined the passenger discord. and if you're in the passenger fandom (which i doubt very many of you guys are dont worry i'll explain it to you) the passenger discord is notoriously controversial. those guys are weird. BUT I WAS NEW I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER!!! this was my first day in and i saw someone send a picture of aaron cherry (that's not his real name but it's cuter lmao)

and like aaron cherry is an absolute cutie pie like look at him? he's so itty bitty cutesie wootsie (i say as if he isn't barely a year younger than me lol) ANYWAYS so i see him and im instantly like "oh my god what the fuck is he from i need to watch this right now"

and the way this movie was described to me was "he's a college kid who falls in love with this older woman and her daughter" and like, the marketing says as much.

so I'M thinking oh like 20 year old, older lady, her daughters probably in college too which is what any sane person would think BUT FUCK YOU FOR THINKING THAT YOU STUPID FUCK CAUSE SURPRISE AARONS 17 AND BETH (the afformentioned daughter) IS 14 AND THIS WHOLE MOVIE IS A KID GETTING GROOMED AND EVEN ASSAULTED AT A POINT AND HE JUST BRUSHES IT OFF AS "oh losing my virginity was just shitty cause i wasn't good at it and she was thinking of someone else" NOT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED WHICH WAS THAT LINDA RELAPSED GOT DRUNK AND STRAIGHT UP RAPED AARON JUST LIKE FULL ON ON SCREEN and i got NO fucking warning beforehand

long story of me complaining i know but that's all i can think of when it comes to this goddamn movie that AND when i was tumblr and someone STAIGHT UP POSTED THE ASSAULT SCENE AND WAS THIRSTING OVER THE 17 YEAR OLD ACTIVELY BEING ASSAULTED and that was when i realized that no this fandom is just straight up nuts

don't even get me started on the goddamn ranson tag on ao3 ugh

anyways, long way of saying this movie should not have been made. at all. MAYBE if the subject was handled better and not just as this run of the mill thing which i KNOW it can be because there's ANOTHER movie on this list with nearly the exact same premise as this one and it's actually treated with the seriousness it deserves

not to just keep dissing it though, i think if you somehow manage to disconnect it from the uncomfortable romantic dynamics (and like good luck doing that lol) it's fun sometimes

rip my girl beth oh my GOD you deserved to be in a much better than this one

i think beth and aaron are very cute individually and together, depsite the whole,,, yeah... i don't think beth having a crush on him was the problem it's natural fucking look at the guy, but i think the way he handles it is just... WHYRE YOU TELLING YOUR ROOMATE??? YOUR SHITTY ROOMATE?? WHO SEES NO REAL PROBLEM WITH YOU GETTING WITH A GIRL IN JUNIOR HIGH OTHER THAN IT "makes you seem desperate" everyone in this movie is so ugh

it's really down to earth though but like, in a way that makes me kind of uncomfortable? like the scenes in linda's house are very intimate and i think that kind of reflects the feeling of seeing more than a guest is supposed to (kind of like aaron) and for the small parts i enjoy i can't fully give this movie zero stars

HOWEVER COMMA i could've went my whole life without seeing this, kyle's got plenty of other roles where he looks cutesie

this movie was fucking BORING and really just pissed me off to NO end

i will give it ONE thing in that i've never seen the disposable black boyfriend trope done before this movie so that's... something i guess? equality win lol

this was an absolute SLOG of a movie, my least favorite thing in movies is when the ENTIRE movie and i mean the WHOLE movie is just exposition dumping and that's all that this was. like sure you've gotta establish the threat i GUESS but oh my god NO. NO this movie is just nothing but TALKING

and like, the lead actress is doing a very...not good job acting, so it's crazy for me to say this, but this whole movie just had me feeling bad for rose. like when theyre not exposition dumping it's this poor woman going crazy i really can't help but feel bad for her. like im not even annoyed

you know who DID annoy me though? and it hurts to say this cause i really love kyle but JOEL PISSED ME OFF SO BAD BRUH he redeems himself in the two minutes of screentime he gets in the second movie though

this movie is a PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME okay? because it's not the best, it barely constitutes as good, i can admit that objectively some people just might not get it

but here's the thing I DO NOT CARE. this is in my top five favorites movie in kyle's discography and i will stand on that ten toes down. i don't give a fuck you can pry this from my cold dead hands

this is also the movie that got me into descendents dude we is like the perfect montage song and i don't know why i haven't seen it in any movies besides this one

this is the perfect movie to just sit around and smoke while watching, i'd never understood the term "stoner comedy" till i watched this movie cause it's even funnier high

i like brian, he's peak movie boyfriend (hence him being the header image lol), but i think what i like most about him is that he's just a cunt? lol????? and like that sounds weird but he's such a little bitch it circles back to being indearing. like don't get mad at your best friend that he's got a nice girlfriend waiting for him at home while yours is sleeping with the head of your record label that aint his fault

ALSO the scene in the office where greg pulls out a crack pipe? absolute comedy gold i cannot do it justice you need to see it for yourself i piss myself at it every single time

the music in this movies tits too, like i liked the snippets of song from dinner in america but they actually PLAY music in this movie and it's GOOD if the fingers were real they'd def be all over my playlist but god HATES ME so none of their music is streamable in america

also speaking of dinner in america BRIAN IS LITERALLY JUST JOHN Q JUNIOR LIKE THERES THIS ONE BIT AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY EVERY TIME HE DOES LIKE THE CRAZY EYES SIMON DOES i love it i love it

ummm first and foremost, this movies loud as SHIT

also, i'm not a big fan of non-linear story telling most of the time but i don't know the confusion works super well here alasao really like the fact that the MC doesn't have this sad and convuluted backstory as to why she's a murderer she just is and it's metal as fuck

i've seen some takes on why her character can be seen as problematic but i dunno i guess im the friend that's not woke cause i can't understand why (not saying she's defenitely not it's just that idk nothing about her stood out as particularly problematic besides action wise which like duh shes a serial killer)

this movie's got a few fakeouts and it plays with your perception of her and the demons dynamic which i thought was fun

HOWEVER COMMA did not enjoy the rape fakeout that did not add anything but shock which like sure horror movie i can understand why it would be there but like really, we already had the red herring of the demon being the murderer set up i don't think that was necessary

and speaking of the demon, he's not a real demon, he is in fact a very handsome man played by kyle gallner.

i dunno i don't really have anything to say about him in this movie, he was servicable but he's like barely a character? like he's a charming red herring and supposedly the protagonist. that's all ive got, he's great eye candy though but tbh this whole movie is eye candy i LOVE the colors more of this and less dull marvel lighting PLEASE IM BEGGING

LITERALLY FUCK THIS MOVIE BRUH OH MY GOD

this shit was such a snoozefest i've always found freddy krueger corny as hell but it's just SO BAD HERE I DO NOT LIKE IT. at all.

quentin was servicable as a protag but there is no way you thought going to the pharmacy in the middle of the night frantically asking for what YOU YOURSELF described as speed for kids with ADHD wouldve been a good idea

idk this movie pissed me off cause i fell asleep and wasted my day when i originally watched it so i fear i may be being a bit too harsh but for right now? its a no from me dawg.

this movie was SO heartbreaking

and not that anything super sad happens it's just that it was SUCH a dissappointment

this one's got two of my favorite actors MGG and kyle gallner, and i'd seen some clips so i was ready for a laugh riot that's full of heart

and yeah this movies got a ton of heart

but it's just not very funny, like dont get me wrong the bits where it's funny it's funny

but for the most part i'm just staring at my screen like "uh huh...sure..."

i did not like tom. i did not like tom as a character. his actor wasnt really selling me and i CERTAINLY did not enjoy his romance with becky. this guys just an asshole. and not even in a fun way like brian losers take all, he's just a dick and thinks everything should go his way.

and all the other characters? bland. unmemorable. did not like the ammount of slurs in this movie either. CERTAINLY did not like the scene where they just start SPOUTING RACIAL SLURS it got a laugh out of me but more of a surprised "literally what are you doing??" laugh.

it's not the worst thing out there but it's far from the best and it's so sad because i WANTED to like it like really bad i wanted this to be a losers take all situation where the movie is objectively just okay but the characters make it enjoyable but they were just giving me NOTHING HERE (i did quite enjoy MGG's character though he was fun i loved those shorts)

FUCK THIS MOVIE and im SO FOR REAL literally fuck this movie to hell!!!

but like not because it's bad i think it's a servicable horror and i like the southern gothic of it all even if people on twitter argue with me about it being southern gothic like girl fuck you that's an integral part of the movie's themeing but whatever whatever

so i looked up a synopsis of what i was getting into because like most gallner fans who'd never seen this movie my immediate thought was "this is the one where they put him in a cage"

HOLY FUCK DUDE ITS SO MUCH WORSE OH MY GOD they straight up TIE A GUY TO A CROSS BALL GAG HIM SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD AND THEN JUST LET HIS BODY FALL INTO THE DUNGEON WHERE THEYRE KEEPING THE OTHER TWO KIDS TRAPPED AND IT'S HORRIFIC like i genuinely felt sick to my stomach because not only do they do that but like minutes before they were holding a sermon??? and there were children in the room????

like when kyles in the cage in the church there are children in the room and this is just so normal to them?? like they don't even bat an eye at the kid screaming and begging to go home it's just the preacher going on and on about how much he hate gays

i dunno i know it's a big part of the church but it just seems unrealistic that a cult would be THAT focused on homosexuality? i dunno BUT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUCKED THAT I ONLY REALIZED ON MY SECOND WATCH

on the news broadcast talking about the funeral at the start of the movie they mention the kid was found covered in seram wrap so NOT ONLY are they protesting this poor kids funeral THEYRE THE FUCKING ONES WHO KILLED HIM UHSKFDKHF thats so insane

but anyways, i think the guy playing the preacher who's name i can't remember did a REALLY good job. like he's just charasmatic enough you know? and it shows why so many people would follow him like listening to his sermon genuinely felt like just going to church it's crazy and that's just one of those things that you don't notice until it's done either really well or really bad

also a kind of okay criticism of government incompetence when it comes to situations like this like why are YOU killing hostages???

and ON THAT NOTE. I WANT THAT COP WHO KILLED JARROD TO BE PUBLICLY EXECUTED HOW DARE YOU i don't cry movies but words cannot explain the reaction that got out of me because at the beggining i was ready for him to be killed right? like he's been kidnapped by a cult theyve got him tied up and gagged gun to his head okay it's obvious this is the end for him but then he escapes and im like okay theres hope. they get outside they talk to the officers okay theres hope

THEN BAM HE'S JUST DEAD LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK and then while im processing that WE GET A FUCKING RAPTURE FAKE OUT????? FUCK YOU

AND THEN A 9/11 JOKE RIGHT AFTER fuck this movie

this is a GENUINE fuck this movie this shit wasted my time so bad

this is another movie where the only thing i knew about it was they was putting kyle in situations and he looked hot in distress HOWEVER COMMA this shit was not worth it

like i've already stated i don't like movies where they sit around talking and the main character is just losing their mind but with smile okay at least that was an interesting concept, when they were talking about the demon i was invested, I COULDNT EVEN KEEP UP WITH THE BULLSHIT THEY WERE SPOUTING HERE UGH

and then by the time the fucking black slenderman guy comes up i'm just checked all the way out theyre just spouting quantum space bullshit UGH it's so boring

the only clip i'd seen before watching was the one where alex was like "hope you had a good show while i was jacking off" and i should've kept it that way ugh this shit was such a snoozefest AND IT'S NOT EVEN BAD ENOUGH WHERE YOU CAN LAUGH AT HOW BAD IT IS it's just BORING

like with smile it pissed me off but at least i felt SOMETHING this one was just pure indiffernece

I LIKED THIS ONE! it's fun! i think it's funny when it needs to be and scary when it needs to be but the cgi is super rough in some places

i LOOOOOOOOVED drew like love he's so charming that you don't even get mad when you find out he's been stealing money from the company but in his defense he is LITERALLY the whole reason that the show runs how it does also i think the clip where he punches max is SO hot and dont even get me started on THIS: enough said i dont need to explain myself

ohhhh my god im SICK this is like the kyle gallner equivalent of the tequila scene in my mind

anyways if i had a nickel for everytime kyle played the friend of a guy who accidentally stabbed his teacher in the eye with a pencil i'd have TWO nickels isn't it odd that happened twice lol? this movie did it first though

i like max but in a i hate him way. like he's the fucking worst and just as you're about to start feeling sorry for him you get the reveal that he's keeping vids of drews fiance and it's like oh no this dude is a dick. as if him lying about his merch being vatican approved

also having the presidents kid shoot him?? wild. wild thing that happened.

AIDUSHIFHD COLIN GRAY MY BELOVED MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

okay now that that's out of the way, i really liked this movie it was campy and fun

not a fan of the ending though i don't know it just wasn't for me and apparently theyre working on a sequal which you know, sure

and like i do not care if jennifer was a bad friend before she got posessed she's my beautiful princess who did nothing wrong. I think this movie's actually a kinda good representation of mania but that's just my opinion.

like the cycle of jen going through something traumatic but when she lashes out (eats boys) she feels on top of the world but then she comes down and like that could be seen as her finally coming to her senses and processing what happened to her so she hits a low but i don't know that's just my interpretation of it

i like needy! she's a beleivable protagonist but i don't know she's not my favorite part of the movie (we all know who that is but i've got a whole shrine for him this aint bout him)

i don't know. I really like jennifer, she's like a benson type character to me. we don't get much about her but the bits that we do get to see leads to fun character interpretations i don't know i love her so much she deserved so much better. you know what we DO know though? SHES A FALL OUT BOY FAN FALL OUT BOY FOR THE WIN BABY anyways i don't CARE if she was killing boys i would too

my heart broke at the beggining when she lied at the beggining so she wouldn't get assaulted and how that ended up being her downfall :(

rip jennifer check i put on my lipgloss a little slower just for you

this one was a MIND FUCK espescially as someone with mommy issues lol

it was a little hard to follow but not to it's detriment. we're in the same boat that emmetts in.

also to get it out of the way this is one of kyle's hottest roles. this is like... im sick im SICK he's so wet cat here i love it i want him so bad

i did NOT like his mom dude. like when she was possessing anya? god she was a cunt also emmett was SO mean at points. i don't know at the beggining i was kinda jealous cause they were such a cute couple but then you see the cracks in their relationship and it's like... i don't know i won't say they don't belong together but i worry for their marriage

he did not have to read that lady for filth that many times though i was dying laughing at points

this movie is.... weird.

remember when i was complaining about cherry being that bad when it comes to the "romance" plot and how it was done better and treated with the seriousness it deserves in a different movie? this is the movie!

first and foremost. anna had NO kind of internet safety taught to her i see cause what do you mean your internet boyfriend shows up to your house and you're not immediately creeped out. like i know she had her reservations about it but absolutely not no why are you here go home.

i also didn't like eric or jesse or WHATEVER his name was. did not like him. why are you 28 talking to a 17 year old. MORE THAN THAT whyre you 28 waiting for a girls 17th birthday to meet up and sleep with her? i don't care what revenge you wanted to get that's weird. thats a weird thing to do. fuck consent laws ur ODD.

i did however like the twist with beth and eric or jesse or whatever. i like how you start to believe dude's actually kinda crazy and i did kinda bad when he had his whole breakdown over whether what happened actually happened.

other than that i think the stories kinda half baked